I hope I'm not alone in my feelings of being anxious. I pray each day God will settle my anxious thoughts as our family approaches such a huge event...meeting our son/brother.
Our house is bustling with excitement with our upcoming "Gotcha Day"; and our family has been busily packing, sorting, repacking, making lists, making plans for our older kids while we are gone, wrapping up loose ends, and staring and praying over our little guys picture.
Even with all this excitment, my mind finds time to......... WORRY. I worry about leaving my older kids home. I worry about the plane ride. I worry about getting sick. I worry our son won't attach. Why do I worry? Why am I having sleepless nights? Why can't I just relax and bask in this once in a lifetime experience?
I don't mean to be a "downer" for anyone in this adventure. I just wonder if I'm alone during this time of worry. Is it a "mother" thing...or just a "me" thing?
I ran across a blog today that made me feel more at ease. The Alexander family (http://teamalexander.blogspot.com/) just flew to pick up their son, so in the excitment of their post, I continued searching their blog and came upon the following words.
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34
"Do not worry about tomorrow! This is not a suggestion, but a command. I divided time into days and nights, so that you would have manageable portions of life to handle. My grace is sufficient for you, but its sufficiency is for only one day at a time. When you worry about the future, you heap day upon day of troubles onto your flimsy frame. You stagger under this heavy load, which I never intended you to carry.
Throw off this oppressive burden with one quick thrust of trust. Anxious thoughts meander about and crisscross in your brain, but trusting Me brings you directly into My Presence. As you thus affirm your faith, shakles of worry fall off instantly. Enjoy My Presence continually by trusting Me at all times." (from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)
The Alexander's continue to write:
I love Francis Chan's definition of stress and worry from Crazy Love. (life altering book if you haven't already read it)
Stress- says that things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.
Worry- implies that we don't trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives
This post really makes sense. I'm working on it. I'm working on allowing God in during this time of rushing emotions. God, logic, and my heart all agree and tell me everything will be wonderful. I just wish my anxiety level would get on board.
On a much, much more positive note... I love our little man so much! I cannot wait to feel his warm cheeks next to mine, and to see his famous smile the special mothers and other visitors comment on every update! I have big plans for him, which include lots of smooches, lots of lullabies, lots of rocking, and lots of cuddles. I hope he is ready for a mama that plans not to leave his side for a long, long time...if ever...heeeheee!
2 comments:
Yep, all perfectly normal!
You are not alone friend. Big events call for big emotions. I was sleepless for a few nights and now I find myself exhausted very early and too tired to do anything. The pendulum swings back and forth as I try to sort through my emotions. I think we will all feel better when our feet our on Ethiopian soil and we are close to our new children.
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